Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
