I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
