It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
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