girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
