I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
