How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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