I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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