We're like a lot better than the average bears
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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