I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Randomize
