I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
All the doctor said was why
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
