The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
