I feel great
I just peed on a car
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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