you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Someone signed my nipple.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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