ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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