No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
