They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
