I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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