Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
