I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
