I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
