I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
