Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
