do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
