I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
