Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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