# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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