forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
