quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
