xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Randomize
