also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
