well I can't set my house on fire every night
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
