All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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