Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
