I want to make a zoo with you.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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