i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
She announced her abortion via fbk
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
