420 ftw
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
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