I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
