i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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