so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
