Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
