Do you still have your period?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
