Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
