HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
