I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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