Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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