I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
