At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
