It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
