You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
