I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
