i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
