the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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